If you’ve ever walked into a performance wondering what everyone else was thinking…

Did they catch that missed note?
Did I sound “good enough”?
Did I just waste their time?

You’re not alone.

Up to 75% of musicians experience performance anxiety at some point in their careers.

It doesn’t matter how talented or experienced you are—when you’re constantly being evaluated, it’s easy to start tying your self-worth to someone else’s opinion.

That was me for years.
I walked into auditions and performances worried about what the audience or jury would think. I let my inner dialogue take over—and more often than not, it let me down.

But all of that changed with one mindset shift.

A shift that helped me feel calmer, more focused, and genuinely excited to share my music.

And it’s one I now teach to my students—because it’s not just powerful.
It’s repeatable.

And it builds lasting performance confidence for musicians at any level.

In this post, you’ll learn:

• Why external feedback can hold you back if you’re not careful
• The #1 mindset shift that frees you from performance anxiety
• What you can (and can’t) control—and how that changes everything
• How to start showing up with confidence, not fear

Let’s get started!

If you ever feel like you don’t know what to practice and just play whatever’s on your stand…

⬇️⬇️⬇️ Get your FREE copy of the Practice Audit Checklist. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

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The Feedback Loop that Keeps Musicians Stuck

Being a musician is one of the most fulfilling paths out there.

There’s nothing quite like walking off stage after a recital and hearing the applause—it’s affirming, energizing, and yes, a little addictive.

But the road to that moment? It’s quiet. Isolating. Often spent alone in a room, trying to make sense of the gap between how you want to sound and what’s actually coming out.

Week after week, you show up to lessons where someone else picks apart your playing.

Then you prepare for auditions, juries, and competitions—where someone else decides how you rank.

So it’s no surprise that over time, your focus shifts from expression to approval.

Because let’s be honest: when the entire structure of our training is built around being evaluated, it’s easy to start tying your self-worth to someone else’s opinion.

To believe that one missed note means you’re not good enough.
That a single raised eyebrow in a lesson defines your musical worth.

Sound familiar?

I used to walk into performances wondering what people would notice—and hoping it wasn’t the imperfections I already knew were there. But, I hadn’t been taught how to prepare for a music performance in a way that built trust in myself—instead, I was trained to impress.

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The Shift: You Can Only Control What You Can Control

Here’s the truth that changed everything for me:

You can only control what you can control.

You can’t control:

• What a panel thinks
• Whether your teacher loved your tone that day
• How your peers react after you play
• What an audience thinks of your playing

And the more energy you spend trying to manage other people’s perceptions, the less energy you have for the things that actually matter.

Once I stopped trying to impress people and started focusing on what I could control, everything shifted.

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What You Can Control Changes Everything

This mindset shift doesn’t mean giving up or pretending outcomes don’t matter.
It means learning to direct your energy with intention.

Here’s what that looked like for me—and what I teach my students:

• How you prepare. Not just logging hours, but practicing with clarity and purpose.
  
• What you focus on. Are you reinforcing high-speed coordination? Or just hoping slow practice will scale?
  
• How you talk to yourself. Not just during performances, but before and after, too.
  
• How you manage nerves. Not by pretending they’re not there, but by building systems that support you when they are.

When you start focusing on what’s actually in your hands, your entire experience shifts. You stop performing with your shoulders up around your ears.
You start walking on stage with purpose—not pressure.

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How One Mindset Shift Helped My Student Regain Her Confidence

Recently, I was coaching a student preparing for a concerto competition. 

She came into her lesson visibly flustered, so we unpacked what was going on.

Turns out, she was spinning out because a peer—someone she constantly compared herself to—was also auditioning.

“What’s the point? They’re better than me. I’m always chasing them.”

So, we reframed her thinking.

Because here’s the thing: she had no control over how her colleague would perform that day.

Maybe the peer would play flawlessly.
Maybe they’d have an off day.
Maybe both would play well—but someone else would win.

She couldn’t control the competition.
But she could control her preparation.
Her mindset.
How she grounded herself the day of the audition.
How she chose to show up, regardless of the outcome.

That’s the mindset shift in action.

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Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind—You’re Just Focused on the Wrong Thing

If you’ve been tying your worth to a teacher’s approval or a judge’s opinion, I want you to know:

It doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for this.

It means you’ve been trained to value feedback above everything else.

And while feedback has its place, it was never meant to be the measure of your worth—or your potential.

You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful.
You don’t need permission to play with clarity, conviction, and confidence.

Because confidence isn’t something that shows up once you’ve “earned” it.

It’s something you build—through preparation, mindset, and a commitment to focusing on what you can control.

And that’s how you stop second-guessing your performance—by learning to trust what you’ve built long before you walk on stage.

If you’re ready to make more shifts in your practicing, check out this post outlining 5 changes you can make in your practicing today.

⬇️⬇️⬇️ Don’t forget to download your free practice session audit checklist so you can build the kind of performance confidence that doesn’t hinge on anyone else’s opinion—and start letting go of external validation in music once and for all. ⬇️⬇️⬇️